Gambling Gene pt. 2- “Shuffling”
After a very long month, I went to Commerce yesterday and played poker for 4 hours straight. I was dominating these older people who were not so subtly judging me. “Wow, you sure don’t look like someone who’d call me,” a bitter man said after losing his chips to my 2 pair. It was absolutely exhilarating. I didn’t want to leave! Then I found myself doing something I was never able to do. I was chip shuffling.
The feel of the chips in my hand was natural. The sound of them tapping each other as I shuffled was beautiful. I remember watching my father shuffle his chips when he would play with his poker friends at home. It looked so cool, but I could never do it. I felt like a gambling pro!
Then I looked around, and observed the other chip shufflers. One guy smelled so awful, I could have sworn he’s been there for three days, taking the occasional nap in his car. Another man was seriously overweight, balding, taking the occasional twist to eat his bowl of swollen noodles with the non-shuffling hand. And then there was me- a small Asian girl with a Master’s degree in writing, who is unemployed, and frequents casinos.
I started thinking of my father.
While gambling, my father shuffled his priorities, his possessions, his relationships, his life.
The sound of the chips grew loud.
His house, his business, his restaurant, his pride.
Oh my God, what if I see my father here?!
His wife, his son, his daughter.
Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.
Until he had no chips left to shuffle.
