just say no
D.A.R.E. (I still don’t know what the letters stand for) visited elementary schools teaching kids to “just say no” to drugs. I remember proudly wearing my D.A.R.E. t-shirt and collecting the neon colored pencils that also reminded me to “just say no.” Well, all that practice was futile for me since I was never offered drugs in my adolescent years. After many years of patiently waiting with no offer, I grew tired and sought them out myself.
Still, I wish I had learned from an early age to just say no to a lot of things. I watched “Yes Man” a couple months ago, and realized that I have the exact opposite problem of Jim Carrey’s character in the film. I can’t say no. This is a curse passed down from my mother. Even when everything inside of me is screaming “NO!!!” why is it that I still always insist on saying, “Yes?” Because of this I end up being taken advantaged of at work, involuntarily volunteering my time, buying every infomercial product, constantly pushing back my plans, and coming home in an angry fit.
I look back and realize that many of the bad things I endured in my life could have been prevented if I just had the courage to say “No”:
Do you want to try flying like Peter Pan? No. (I still have a scar.)
Can you hold the lizard’s head while I chop the tail off? No! (Still traumatized.)
Can I have your M&M’s? No. (Eveerryydayy. Valerie Watkins, you owe me like 2,513 bags of M&M’s.)
I see your hand up but I’m busy right now, can’t it wait? NO. (Sigh, I don’t even want to share this one.)
Will you go to prom with me? No. (Sorry Jake, but who are we kidding, that night was awful.)
So how’d the lunch go, you like my mom? No. (Turned into a weekly thing.)
And it goes on and on. Today my manager asked, “Do you like working here? Do you want to be a successful banker?” To which I smiled and answered, “Sure do!” Now I am sitting here in self-hatred. How did I get so good at lying?
