11.11
In the U.S. it is Veteran’s Day. In Korea it is Pepero Day. To me, it is the one day a year when the same odd number lines up four times. It is also exactly 11:11pm right now. Choosing to spend this minute writing in this blog shows how special this blog is to me. This is supposedly when wishes are to be made.
I’ve looked up the mysticism of numbers and found countless articles on the subject. But, I couldn’t stand reading them. I don’t want to know what others believe about the power of numbers or about how numbers control the universe, because I don’t want my belief system to be tainted.
How I feel about numbers was not adopted by hearing or reading about them. It was pure and self-created. No one told me that odd numbers were special. No one told me that seven was perfect. I just deemed them to be so. I think this might be the only thing I have left that’s mine. Everything else was something learned— something that required a small death of my ego to let new information in.
To me, 1 is the supermodel of numbers. It rises tall and is elegantly lean and sharp. Its shape is a simple one, represented by just one line, one stroke. It is the first odd number. It is always first.
The other numbers must be so jealous.
It is hard to enjoy this day though. I just keep thinking of my 1 father, his 1 good eye asking me for this 1 opportunity. My 1 conscience, drowning in guilt. Wouldn’t I rather break the rules than my father’s heart?
I wish I knew I did the right thing.
