FAVORABLE O D D $

My devil wears prada too, and gucci, and chanel, and ysl and…

If I learned anything from working at the bank it is that power driven female divorcees in their mid 40’s-50’s are the scariest people on earth.

I mean it. I’m scared to death of the line of women who sit at the head of our bank.

I wondered if I could ever be like them, but came to the conclusion that they truly are their own breed. I watch them, though, from the outside.

Their eyes are always wide and alert, and they only need to blink once every 20 seconds. No, they don’t blink, they snap their eyes. On quiet moments when we have no customers, you can hear them. Those eyes are dangerous. (One day my supervisor gazed at my plant speaking of its beauty. The next morning it was dead). They make sure about 57 times a day that there is no flaw in their appearance (each desk has at least 3 mirrors mounted on them). Their makeup is tatted on their faces, literally. Their chins are always elevated. They drink soju like it’s water. The dealers over at Mercedes-Benz and Lexus have their numbers on speed dial. They re-gift 97% of what they receive. It is impossible to lie to them. When they laugh, it makes me nervous. When they compliment me, it makes me nervous. In fact, when they come within five feet of my desk, it makes me nervous.

They never get mad at me for procrastinating, for taking longer lunches, or for not opening enough accounts. But they always say something about me not wearing enough make up, me recycling my outfits, or me carrying a canvas bag. Last month my branch manager asked me why I don’t use mascara. “Oh, actually I do. I have mascara on right now,” I replied. “That’s nice,” she said and walked away. That’s one of her favorite things to say.

Today, my manager came to my desk. She looked right into me and smiled. I felt reduced to the size of an insect hiding under an upside down bowl. She didn’t say one word. She just pulled something out of her LV bag, placed it on my desk, lifted her chin and turned around to leave.