My grandmother was gorgeous.
There is only one black and white photo to prove this- a portrait of her when she was 19. I was shocked when I first saw this photo because by the time I first met my grandmother, she was already concealed with old age. But in the photo, she looks like a Korean barbie.
Because she was a looker, she was chosen for marriage by the richest man in her town at an early age. My grandmother was only 16 when she married my grandfather, but from what I’m told, she was very happy in her early married life. In the next 17 years, she had 8 children with him, the eighth child being my father. He remained her favored child until she died.
One month after my father was born, my grandfather was murdered. My father was born in 1950, when Korea was in war. Several North Korean soldiers invaded my grandparents’ home, held guns to my grandfather’s head, and forced him to feed them and house them for the night. As a South Korean, he was not to do this, but he had no choice. He was targeted because he was rich and owned a big home. When the news spread to the South Korean generals, they called my family traitors. They labeled them as North Koreans, lined my grandfather up alongside his brothers and shot them one by one in front of their families.
My grandmother watched with a crying baby in her arms as a fellow South Korean shot her husband.
She never remarried, or even looked at another man for the next 60 years. She just raised her 8 children and died at the old age of 93. My cousin says her body looked and felt like an old tree, her dark skin hardened over her small bones. Although her body was decaying, her mind was still sharp up to the moment of her death. She recognized everyone and asked about a lot of people. The person she asked about the most, though was my father- the only one of her 8 kids who had moved to America to raise his family.
Out of all my cousins, I’ve probably seen her the least. Although she has made a few visits here and I’ve also visited her in Korea several times, my memories of her are vague. So, I don’t know why I am so deeply affected by her death, but I am. Maybe because she was the last real grandparent I had left.
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My parents got back from Korea last week. My father told us how all of our cousins are doing, well the successful ones anyway, and my mother told us of all the drama and shit talking that went on amongst the families. And it’s my brother’s birthday, so we all went out to a nice dinner today. (There’s been a lot of money coming in from friends since the funeral.) My mom had on a newly purchased outfit, and my brother received a rather big envelope.
My father got drunk and talked on and on about my grandmother- how pretty she was, how strong she was, and how so many people came to her funeral. And since my brother and I were the only ones from our relatives who weren’t at the funeral, he said we’d have to go next year for the anniversary. He didn’t have it in him to tell everyone that we are both unemployed and couldn’t afford plane tickets, so he came up with his own reasons as to why we couldn’t make it. My brother was tied down at this prestigious government job he’s had since he graduated, and the college I teach at was unable to find a substitute for me on such short notice. So, he gave us a one year deadline to make something of ourselves.
After dinner, we went to my parent’s place and played a mini poker tournament. $20 buy in, one re-buy. With 4 players, that’s still a pretty big pot. My father and I got out quick, bought back in, and got out again (which is funny because we’re the ones who actually play poker all the time). My brother was chip leader, but not by a lot. My mom had a King, 10 and my brother had pocket Aces. 2 Kings came out on the flop, my mom went all in, and my brother called. Turn- 5, River- …………… A.
With sheer luck, the birthday boy won all the money. Hopefully, a good start to a good year. But if nothing else, it was a good end to a family night out; beacuse no matter how distant my family becomes, things like deaths and gambling can always bring us back together.
